“The heart, of the fear of not being loved, runs away from loneliness and sinks into a swamp of false relationships.”
– Alejandro Jodorowsky
We all want to be loved, but the reality shows that the more we seek affection from others, the more it moves away from us. That hard lesson in life teaches us that there is nothing we can get from the outside world, as long as we don’t give it to ourselves first.
Many people have a lot of expectation from their partners, and as a result, get repeatedly disappointed when they don’t get their hearts desire; they blame the partner for not fulfilling his end of the bargain and eventually move on to the next romantic adventure.
It can be painful to realize that everything we experience is the outcome of our inner story; the way we perceive ourselves and the world shape our daily existence. But at the same time it can be illuminating and liberating; If we don’t love ourselves unconditionally, nobody will do it for us.
Even our parents couldn’t provide such devotion, so why should we expect it from our partners?
Self-love in its correct non-narcissistic form is the only path to a healthy and satisfying relationship. Growing up in a spiritual sense means to stop projecting our issues onto others and take responsibility for our own needs. Then we will start practicing giving to others what we so wish to receive from them.